The English Gentleman is a cultural stereotype that refuses to go away. No matter how much the UK changes, the stiff-upper-lip reputation is hard to shake. Whether that’s as a foppish love interest, a wise-cracking sidekick, a dashing Spitfire pilot or a steadfast nobleman, you see it all over film and TV. But what does it mean to be one?
Before we embark, let’s get the facts in order; the hoary old cliché about the “English Gentleman” has always been something of a myth. The upper-crust gent in a three-piece suit and bowler hat is (for the most part) long gone, if he ever existed. He belongs to the village green, warm beer and finest china vision of England which, while living on as an echo, holds very little currency in today’s country. These days the UK is, for the most part, a thoroughly modern and outward-looking society, with varying visions of what it “means” to be British. Its rich (and, often, chequered) history continues to inform both common myths and modern realities.
There are some things that the culture retains, and its popular image precedes it in the public imagination; Roger Moore raising an eyebrow, Hugh Grant stuttering on the doorstep, Idris Elba’s mischievous glint. Further back, you may think of Sherlock Holmes with his pipe or of Mr. Darcy’s smouldering propriety. These mythologies persist, in part because they tell you something about reality.
1. Manners
First and foremost, manners, otherwise known as the unspoken codes by which we all negotiate the world. Whether we like it or not, we share our streets with others, and this is made much smoother if we have a little consideration for those around us.
But more than that, manners are about respect. They’re a basic matter of decency towards your fellow humans. Famously, in the UK, manners count, and depending where you are in the country, you can cause plenty of unintended offence by not watching them. Needless to say, these codes look different depending on the place, occasion and company. The popular saying “good manners cost nothing” is as true as things get, and a little grease on the wheels helps everyone to get along better.
2. Kindness
Speaking of respect, the mark of a gentleman was once how they treated the people around them. It’s no good having manners for strangers in the street and doing no good elsewhere in your life. Treating people how you would like to be treated is a mark of being brought up well - something that crosses all social barriers.
We don’t go along with the creed of Dog Eat Dog; we think that a man who is secure in himself would have a little humility and extend a little kindness, rather than trampling all in front of him.
3. Curiosity
We’d call this knowing something about the world, having strong interests, and just as importantly, knowing what you don’t know.
We’d like to distinguish this from “education”, as not only is the best (most expensive) education available only to a select few, but I’m sure we have all met well-educated men who seem to be a little…uncurious about the world. Being inquisitive, wishing to learn about things and extending your knowledge base is the mark of a fully-developed man, whilst believing that you know all the answers only demonstrates your immaturity.
4. Make an Effort
For your partner, for your families, at work and for your friends. Put in the work and reap the rewards.
Unless we forget that we are a men’s fashion brand, we believe it’s important to make an effort with your clothes where possible. It shows confidence, personality and respect for the occasion. Don’t be afraid to dress up (or down!) as the occasion demands it. Would you wear a cravat up a mountain? Then don’t wear a gilet on a date!
Don’t be afraid of looking good or of spending time on your appearance - there is nothing unmanly about being well turned out. For times when you think your outfit needs a little something extra, our fine silk accessories (handmade in England of course) can really give you the finishing touch.
5. Don’t Fall for the Toxicity Trap
We’re not going to name any names here, but there has been a concerted effort in the last few years to reposition manhood as only its worst aspects. The sudden post-pandemic phenomenon of online discourse bleeding into the real world has meant that masculinity seems at risk of losing its mind. This is, unfortunately, often spearheaded by men themselves. Whether through opulent consumption, hateful language or mindless posturing, the image of the gentleman has never been more tainted. From demonising people and pushing strawman logic, to gruel-thin posturing as intellectuals, this has fostered something of an “us and them” mentality, where others, mainly women, are something alien and threatening; to be dominated and disrespected.
There is however a punchline to all this - do we really believe it? When we look around our own lives at male role models, do we really see this kind of thing reflected? We advise you to take a breath and to think about what living, breathing men do day-to-day - you know, ones deserving of your respect. We reckon you’ll find that it has nothing to do with any of that.
We at Cravat Club have more faith in young men. So, no shame, but should you have found yourself in this particular online cul-de-sac, we advise you to dust yourself off, give yourself a shake, and to pick your role models a little more carefully next time. Manhood is broad and needn’t include such negativity.
6. It’s an Inclusive Congregation
And so we come to the most crucial aspect; there truly is no one, singular way to be a gentleman. Forget stereotypes of what it means to be a man, how to behave in a manly way, how to attract a partner, and all the rest of the false certainties. Ultimately, it’s about the way you meet the world, not about some outdated notion of what a man is and isn’t, and what airs and graces he needs to put on.
Being a gentleman is about how you behave - how you mind your manners and control your impulses, what your standards of decency are, how you express yourself and how you protect what is important. Way beyond any caveman notion of manhood, these aspects will mark you out as a man of substance.
So, whatever your background and interests, wherever you come from and whatever you think of the so-called “English Gentleman”, remember that you already have all the tools you need at your disposal.
Should you wish to give your inner gentleman a style boost, we offer the finest 100% silk accessories to spice up any ensemble. Browse our range and lend some class to your outfit, effortlessly.
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